Do Your Dreams Make You Uncomfortable?

great post to read Posted by on Apr 5, 2016 in Features, Personal Growth | 0 comments

Do Your Dreams Make You Uncomfortable? For the past nine months I’ve had a dream that makes me pretty uncomfortable. I’m good with what I envision as the final outcome, it’s what I need to do to get there that makes me itchy.

visit our website Do you have a dream? A vision of what your life could be if only something happened? That something could be under your control, such as paying off a loan, getting your business going, graduating, writing a book, losing some weight; or it could be out of your control, such as winning the lottery, being discovered, meeting the person of your dreams (although that one can be under your control too). The question is, are you willing to work towards your dream, or are you just going to sit back and wait for it to come to you? If you answer yes to working towards your dream, how hard are you willing to work and how open are you willing to be? For the record, this is the part that usually chafes.

I spent last weekend with my mom, brother, sister, and their spouses – sort of a family reunion without grandkids. My brother and I were talking about work and life choices. He gets up at oh-dark-thirty every morning to work on his business. As he explained to me, his life is basically work and sleep. But he has the objective to pay off the business loans in two-and-a-half years and make the company self-sustaining and income-generating. He has a clearly defined goal and he’s fully committed to making it happen. To be honest, I doubt he sees any alternative to making it happen.

On the three-hour drive home, I began to question my life. I have a clear goal, I have a dream of how my life will be, and it’s all under my control. But I’ve only been dabbling in my dream, postponing it to avoid the itching and chafing. I haven’t committed to it. I haven’t decided that this is it. Sure, I get up at oh-dark-thirty, but then I check social media and dilly-dally (a technical term) until either deadlines loom or clients ask for something. I’ve indulged in a morning ritual, but it didn’t move me in the direction of my goal. At least not in a way that was going to get me there during this lifetime.

On my drive, I thought about the people I deem successful. They all had a goal and set about achieving it. Some focused on the prize of retiring early. Some wanted to make their life’s work something they loved to do. Some wanted to build a business they could be proud of. And then I thought about my approach. I wanted to do the best work possible because that’s what I enjoy. But I never had a single, laser-focused end-goal. So I would get frustrated when it wasn’t possible to do good work, then I’d lose my focus on even that, and flounder.

I looked back to a time when I was successful. I had that singular focus. I wanted to build something great. And right now just feels like a good time to shift back to doing what it takes to achieve big, hairy, even audacious goal. So this morning I’m up earlier than usual to craft something that is hopefully of value to you, even though it’s really just something I needed to say to myself.

Do you have a dream? A vision of how your life could be? Something you know in your heart of hearts that you really need to focus on? You don’t have to give up your day job (in fact, I would advise against that), but you do need to take it on as a second job. That means that my second job has to be every bit as important to me as the work that pays my bills. I have to treat it the same way I treat my best clients.

I can no longer afford to dabble in it. Are you at that place too? It’s okay to not be, but if you are, it’s time to take off your mild-mannered mask and be true to who you really are. As Kamala Kahn (aka Ms. Marvel) points out, “being someone else isn’t liberating, it’s exhausting.” And when it’s time to be you, you’ll know. Because that’s when your old skin gets very uncomfortable.

I know I’m pretty uncomfortable. How about you?

Photo composite from the Marvel Comic, Ms. Marvel #2 by G. Willow Wilson and Adrian Alphona.