On Being an Avowed Dork

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On Being an Avowed Dork

order lasix online Maybe it’s because I got up a 4AM again. Maybe it’s because we had a blue moon this month. Maybe it’s because I’ve seen too many people hurt lately by trying to think their way through matters of the heart. Maybe it’s because I’ve just gotten too old and tired of fighting it, but I’m at a place where I’d rather be looked down upon for living and loving and being a dork at times, than looked up to for being “cool.”

https://www.andersonautomotive.net/833-dte86898-best-dating-apps-for-serious-relationships.html I’d rather get choked up at acts of personal triumph and bravery in others, than to smile and politely clap. I’d rather smile a little too broadly than be worried what others think.  I’d rather be amazed by little miracles like a baby bird starting to fly than be impressed by some super-expensive new car.  And I’d rather risk having my heart opened and broken over and over again because I loved freely rather than play it safe and wait to see who would admit it first.

weblink Facebook always asks, “What’s on your mind?” But maybe a better (and much tougher) question is, “What’s in your heart?” What’s aching to be expressed? I know it’s hard to bare your soul where others only post highlights. But what’s the use in being cool? What does that gain you? Do you honestly want or need a bunch of friends who really don’t know you and probably wouldn’t care about you if you were true to yourself?

For the last several years, I’ve been an avowed dork. I’ve gotten choked up at everything from scenes in kid shows to songs to stories of people overcoming incredible obstacles. Those who know me tend to expect at least a little dorkiness or an uncomfortable moment or two. I’ve actually gotten to the point where I can’t even hide it well anymore. I think that my lack of concern about being perceived as a dork comes from facing my own mortality at 36, spending more than a decade searching for spiritual answers in Shamanism, Reiki, and Buddhism, and visiting refugee camps in Africa where I saw people happy with nothing (and I mean no-things except life). I also think it’s because life has bitch-slapped me every time I focus on being cool or even well-off at the expense of being true.

Over these dorky, open-heart years, the thing I’ve learned is that the only people who will judge you to be less for sharing a bit of your heart and soul are those who are deathly afraid of what they might find in their own. It’s really about 10% of the population (more in some areas than others). Unfortunately, our society has exalted the cool and detached and shamed those who jump into life’s dance with a smile and their hands above their heads.

These days, the bravest people I know are those who live life with their heart on their sleeve, loudly appreciating every little miracle life throws their way — even the ones that seem like setbacks. Garth Brooks once said in a song, “Life is not tried, it is merely survived if you’re standing outside the fire.”

Last night I watched a young girl run through the fountains on Pearl Street Mall in Boulder. The sheer joy on her face from the total reckless abandon as she dodged the little bursts of water made me smile. And then she went one round too far and the water came up and got her. You know what she did? She laughed! Then she shared how the water got her. She was happy to be wet from the experience.

What a great way to live! And what a great metaphor for life. After dodging the water, she finally got drenched and found that funny. That’s how I want to live. How about you?

 

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