see here now You can always run away from what’s bugging you. I know, I’ve done it. But no amount of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, pinot noir, throwing yourself into a dead-end job or relationship, or any other form of avoidance will change the fact that your shadow-side is always with you. Like your physical shadow, your unresolved issues (your metaphorical shadow) follow you everywhere you go and through everything you do. They will hunt you down until you find a way to make those beasts your allies.
dating coach voodoo chicago Yes, I said make them your allies. You not only have to vanquish them, you then need to recruit them to your side. Which is both easier and harder than it sounds. The thing is that you have only this one choice: postpone this battle until another day or get it over with now. While it’s perfectly acceptable to postpone the battle and choose to fight it later, you should know that postponing won’t bring you any closer to living the life you want. It will really only serve to keep you in a constant state of struggle with the same old foes.
The reason I say that it’s okay to postpone dealing with these issues is because we’ve all done it. Personally I’ve postponed these battles for, well, let’s call it an even 20 years since I first realized that I was struggling with issues that began in childhood. Some of it I did tackle and force into submission, but that’s really just another form of postponing (although you do get a small celebration, some bubbly, and some cake), and it’s not nearly as effective as embracing it and turning what you thought was a foe into an ally.
To see how effective forced submission is just look at the French Resistance during World War II or Katniss Everdeen and the rebellion in Panem (for you Hunger Games fans) for reference. Look what happened when humans tried to force mutants into submission in the X-Men comics and movies. It’s so much better to have them on your side.
When you’re ready to take on your shadow nemesis (or nemeses), you’ll know. You’ll know because you’re beyond frustrated with the way things are going in your life. You’ve finally realized that this unresolved issue has cost you something too dear or has gone too far to get your attention. Did you lose the girl or boy of your dreams because you pushed them away before they could abandon you? Did you sabotage a great job because you couldn’t receive as well as you give? Are you barely hanging on because you had to do it your way? Are you struggling in a boring corporate or service job because you’re afraid to follow your dreams?
Now I phrased all of these as being totally under your control, and they are if you’re aware. But more often than not we only do these things when we’re not aware of what’s really going on behind these behaviors. And those things are our true nemeses.
There’s a point in every comic book or movie where the villain or enemy goes too far. When the Green Goblin puts Peter Parker’s beloved Mary Jane in danger, when HYDRA captures Steve Rogers’ best friend Bucky and Captain America can’t do anything about it, or when Mandarin attacked Tony Stark’s mansion and almost killed Piper, they went too far. In every story, the hero couldn’t take it anymore, stepped up, and decided that they would stop the villain or die trying.
Usually it’s some kind of overwhelmingly painful and frustrating leverage that all of us need in order to kick some ass. Very few of us are willing to upset the apple cart just because it seems like a good time to do it. We need a reason that’s bigger than our desire to keep things the same. And even Agents of Change (I’ll have to talk to Stan Lee about turning that into a comic series) have a strong desire to keep a lot of things the same.
Tony Robbins once said that we’ll do more to avoid pain than we will to seek pleasure. Pain is usually the greater leverage. And for most superheroes, pain often becomes their driving force. Scott Lang wouldn’t agree to be Ant-Man until he was faced with going back to prison and not seeing his daughter for many years
So what have you seen one too many times? Are you weary of seeing injustice in the world? Start there if that’s easier. You can work your way through it and see how something you’re doing is showing up as injustice or corporate greed. If it really irritates you, it’s probably a sign that it’s triggering something inside you.
So what are you sick and tired of? Let’s see what the Shadow Knows that you can’t see. Set up a time and let’s talk. The first call is free.
This image is a pencil sketch from my upcoming book “The Secret Power of Comic Books: A Step-by-Step Guide for Turning Life’s Setbacks into Tools for Your Utility Belt” illustrated by Archsider.